Secular Ceremony: The Complete Guide + 6 Inspiring Rituals to Personalize Your Wedding

You’re not keen on a religious ceremony, and a town hall wedding feels a little too rushed? A secular ceremony is a beautiful alternative to experience a meaningful moment that truly reflects who you are.

As a wedding photographer, I’ve witnessed many ceremonies over the years. And what I’ve noticed time and again is that these are often the most emotional ones. Why? Because they’re entirely built around the couple. No rules, no imposed structure. Just the two of you, your words, your loved ones, and a generous dose of emotion.

And if you choose to have only a secular ceremony, without going to city hall on the wedding day, things become even simpler. Everything happens in one place — no travel logistics, no stressful back-and-forth. The atmosphere is usually more relaxed, more fluid… and honestly, it shows on everyone’s face. In my experience, it’s the most laid-back format, for both the couple and the guests.

In this article, I’m sharing a straightforward guide to help you understand what a secular ceremony is, how to organize it, and how to include original ideas that truly reflect who you are. Whether you’re planning it outdoors, in a garden, or indoors, what matters most is that it speaks to both of you.

What is a secular ceremony?

A secular ceremony is, above all, a symbolic celebration. It doesn’t have any legal value, but it often carries a great deal of emotional weight. Unlike a civil or religious wedding, it’s not governed by any official rules. That’s what makes it so free, so personal… and truly unique.

You can organize it wherever you want, whenever you want, and — most importantly — however you want. It can be led by a close friend or family member, or by a professional celebrant, depending on what feels right for you. Some couples go for a solemn tone, while others prefer something lighter or even humorous — there’s no right or wrong way to do it, as long as it feels true to who you are.

It’s also worth noting that secular ceremonies aren’t conducted the same way in every country. In the United States, for example, they tend to be very short — around twenty minutes on average. The officiant reads a short text, the couple exchanges vows and rings… and that’s it.

In France, it’s usually a bit different. Secular ceremonies in France typically last between 45 minutes and an hour. There’s more space for personal speeches, sometimes several guests speak, and symbolic rituals are often included throughout the ceremony.

A secular ceremony can be adapted to fit so many different situations. It’s a great choice for interfaith couples, non-religious couples, or for those getting married for the second time. More broadly, it’s perfect for anyone who wants to take the time to say “I do” in total freedom.

And that moment — it’s often the one where you laugh, where you cry, where you truly let go. And when it happens in a space you’ve chosen — outdoors, in a garden, or in a beautifully decorated room — it becomes even more meaningful.

Why choose a secular ceremony?

What I love about secular ceremonies is how much space they give to what really matters: the human connection. No constraints, no imposed format — you can imagine almost anything. And that changes everything, not only for the couple, but also for the guests.

Total freedom

A secular ceremony is all about freedom. You decide the location, the structure, the tone, the readings, the people who take part… It’s a moment entirely shaped by and for you. You can write your own vows, invite loved ones to speak, include music that moves you — or all of the above. That’s what makes every ceremony so unique.

A more personal celebration

In the weddings I photograph, secular ceremonies are often the most emotional moments of the day. Because they’re made up of your words, your stories, your glances. It’s a powerful, sincere moment that truly reflects who you are. The guests feel it — and it’s often what they remember most from the day.

Less stress, more fluidity

Choosing to have only a secular ceremony (without going to city hall the same day) also means choosing simplicity. Everything happens in one place — no travel, no tight schedule to stick to. The couple is usually more relaxed, and it shifts the whole energy of the day. The logistics are smoother too, especially when the ceremony, cocktail and reception are all at the same venue.

Suitable for all types of couples

A secular ceremony is ideal if you don’t want a religious wedding, if you come from different cultural or faith backgrounds, or if you simply want a celebration that fully reflects who you are. It’s also a beautiful option for a second marriage, or for renewing your vows.

Indoors or outdoors, anything is possible

Many couples choose to have their secular ceremony outdoors, in a pretty garden, under an arch, or with a view they love. But it can just as easily take place indoors, in a warm and welcoming venue, if the weather or season calls for it. What matters most is that the space holds meaning for you.

The key steps to a successful secular ceremony

Since there are no fixed rules, every secular ceremony is different. But with a bit of structure and planning, it’s easy to create a moment that flows well, feels emotional, and reflects who you are. Here are the key steps to keep in mind.

1. Choose the right celebrant

This is the person who will set the tone. It can be a close friend or relative (a brother, sister, or friend) or a professional officiant. What matters most is that they’re comfortable speaking in public and able to tell your story with sincerity. The human connection is just as important as their experience.

2. Write or select the texts for the ceremony

You don’t need to write a novel — just create a structure to guide the moment. Usually, the celebrant will suggest a framework: an introduction, some transitions, and a closing. You can read through the texts together, or even co-write some parts. That’s what gives the ceremony real cohesion.

3. Prepare your vows

One of the most emotional moments of the ceremony. Each of you writes your vows in your own way, with your own words. Some keep it simple, others let the emotion speak. There’s no right or wrong — the only thing that matters is that it feels like you. And yes, tears (or laughter) are more than welcome.

4. Include one or more symbolic rituals

This is a beautiful way to add rhythm to your ceremony and create a memorable moment. We’ll go into more detail in the next section, but you can already start thinking about a ritual that feels meaningful to you: blending colored sand, tying ribbons around your hands, lighting a candle together… These small gestures can carry deep meaning.

5. Involve your loved ones

If some of your friends or family members would like to read something, share a story, or say a few words, this is the perfect time. Usually, two or three speeches are more than enough. Better a few short, heartfelt messages than too many that weigh down the moment.

6. Choose the music

Music enhances emotion. You can plan one song for the couple’s entrance, another during a ritual, and a final one for the exit. Whether it’s live or on a playlist, it doesn’t matter — as long as the songs resonate with you.

7. Set the scene and care for the details

A secular ceremony outdoors, under a flower-covered arch with neatly arranged chairs, instantly sets the mood. Indoors, lighting and thoughtful decoration also play a big role. Don’t forget the practical side: microphone, sound system, seating for your guests… These small touches make the whole experience more enjoyable for everyone.

8. Do a quick run-through (and don’t forget… the couple’s exit!)

No need to rehearse every second. But a short briefing the day before or on the morning of the wedding with your celebrant and the key participants can help avoid any surprises. Most importantly, leave room for spontaneity. Those little unplanned moments often make for the best memories.

And above all… don’t skip planning your exit! It’s often one of the happiest and most photogenic moments of the ceremony. Guests rise, applaud, toss flower petals, blow bubbles… The energy is incredible, and everyone is smiling. It’s a real celebration — and as a photographer, it’s one of my favorite scenes to capture. So it’s definitely worth taking a few minutes to plan for it, and enjoy it to the fullest.

🌿 6 Symbolic Ritual Ideas for a Meaningful Secular Ceremony

Symbolic rituals bring an even more personal dimension to a secular ceremony. They help mark a powerful moment, create a shared memory, and sometimes even involve your loved ones. Here are some original secular ceremony ideasI’ve had the chance to witness during my wedding reportages.

1. The Sand Ceremony

This is one of the most common rituals, but still a very powerful one. Each partner pours colored sand into a single container. The blending of the sand symbolizes the union of your lives, your stories, and your roots. It’s simple, visual, and it always works beautifully.

2. The Ribbon Ritual (or Handfasting)

This ancient Celtic ritual involves tying ribbons around the couple’s hands, usually in a symbolic knot. Each ribbon can represent a meaningful value for the couple — love, trust, fidelity… It’s a moment that’s both visually striking and deeply symbolic, often used in outdoor secular ceremonies. The gesture is simple, but full of meaning: it represents unity and commitment in its purest form.

3. A Nature-Inspired Ritual

For couples who feel deeply connected to nature, certain rituals can take on a beautifully symbolic meaning. I once saw an English bride bring soil from her hometown, while her groom brought a plant he cared about. Together, they blended them during the ceremony.

On another occasion, the couple actually planted a tree on the family estate, just after saying “I do.” It was such a powerful moment — the land belonged to the groom’s uncle, and the tree would grow there as a living witness to their union.

4. The Wishing Tree

Another nature-based ritual — but this time with the guests involved. Each person writes a short note, a wish, or a message, and then hangs it on a wishing tree set up near the ceremony. It’s both beautiful and emotional, with a poetic touch — and the couple leaves with a precious collection of memories.

5. Collective Art

More original, but just as impactful: the collective art ritual. At one wedding, each guest added a small brushstroke to a canvas using the color of their choice. Then the bride used a squeegee to create an abstract painting out of all those colors. The final result was unique — a true reflection of their day and the people who shared it with them.

6. The Sealed Memory Box

This ritual involves the couple’s closest friends or witnesses. I’ve seen couples place a bottle of wine and personal letters into a wooden box, which they then sealed together with their witnesses. The idea? To open it all together in 10 years. It’s a powerful gesture — one that invites you to look ahead, to reunite, and to celebrate your love once again… in a whole new way.

📸 Photographer’s Tips for a Successful Secular Ceremony

As a photographer, I experience the ceremony with a slightly different perspective — I’m there to capture the emotion, the light, and the little spontaneous gestures. And over time, I’ve picked up on a few details that can really make a difference — for you, and for the way your memories are preserved in photos.

Pay attention to the light

If you’re planning an outdoor secular ceremony, be mindful of the direction of the arch or the ceremony space. Harsh sunlight can be uncomfortable (and not very flattering in photos). The ideal setting? Soft, golden light — like late afternoon — with a bit of natural shade if possible.

Use a microphone, even with a small group

People often think, “we’re just among close friends, we don’t need a mic.” But even in a small setting, wind, birds, or emotion can make it hard to hear the words. And if guests can hear everything clearly… they feel more connected to the moment. And I can capture more genuine reactions.

Create a setting that reflects you

An arch, a few flowers, two or three well-chosen elements — that’s often enough to set the tone. It’s not about budget, it’s about choosing something that matches your style. Visually, a thoughtful backdrop immediately adds depth and emotion to your photos.

Be yourselves

This might be the most important tip: don’t try to be “perfect.” Let the emotions flow — laugh if you feel like it, tremble a little if you’re nervous. These real, honest moments are my favorites to photograph — the ones where you’re truly living the moment.

Don’t forget the couple’s exit

As I mentioned earlier, this is often one of the most joyful — and photogenic — parts of the ceremony. Guests stand, applaud, toss petals, blow bubbles… so much happens in just a few seconds, and it’s pure joy. Think through this little moment in advance so it unfolds smoothly — and trust me, the photos will be worth it.

In Summary

Planning a secular ceremony means giving yourself the freedom to experience a truly personal moment — one that’s entirely shaped by your story. No imposed rules, no formal obligations: just emotion, meaning, and a beautiful dose of personalization.

Whether it’s simple or filled with rituals, outdoors under a big tree or indoors in a cozy venue, what matters most is that it reflects who you are. And it’s often these sincere, slow-paced moments that stay with you the longest — both in your heart and in your photos.